


Shishkabobbing the Tikka

by walking_tornado



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Food Porn, Inanimate Objects, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 01:58:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7133936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walking_tornado/pseuds/walking_tornado
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is a chicken tikka. Jared is a shishkabob. They fuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shishkabobbing the Tikka

**Author's Note:**

> Complete crack for somer. Written about a year ago and posted to my LJ, but I'm only now moving some smaller fic to AO3.

Jared, hanging near the edge of the shishkabob platter, spotted the imposter right away. The saucy walk was a dead giveaway, and he didn't even know the secret handshake. He craned his onion for a closer look. Holy shit! This Tikka was all meat! Jared adjusted his pepper and moved closer. 

With his skin reddened by the heat, the Tikka lay down on a bed of lettuce. A wafting breeze brought with it a mouth-watering spicy scent that immediately made juice drip off Jared's tomatoes. He was so done. He moved closer and the imposter turned around when Jared's shadow fell on him.

"I'm Jared. Mind if I join you?" Jared said. 

The Tikka studied Jared, pausing to take in Jared's chunks of barbequed meat glistening with the juices of the grilled vegetables before focusing on Jared's metal skewer, standing tall and proud. Jared had always been told he had an impressive length.

"Jensen," the Tikka said and he rolled over to make room.

As Jared lowered himself onto the lettuce bed, he saw Jensen's wooden skewer move, twisting as Jensen slowly, tantalizingly, withdrew it. 

Jensen gave a steamy breath out as he slid out the skewer, bit by bit, until he pulled it free of his hole with a little gasp. 

"Well?" the Tikka asked.

Jared simply stared, as his juices dribbled down. "Uhh."

"I was hoping . . . That is, I heard . . ." Jensen said, and he rolled to present his best side. "I have a thing for barbecue sauce," he admitted. "I saw you being basted and I thought you might be up for a little fusion experience."

Oh, Jared was up, all right. He scooted closer and when Jensen brushed up against Jared's red peppers, Jared moaned. With hot, boneless movements, Jensen licked a trail over Jared's succulent meat, into the dips of the peppers, and over the rounded globes of his onions. Everywhere Jensen touched left a tingling trail of spice, and when Jensen nuzzled Jared's cherry tomato, Jared moaned and pressed into him.

"After," Jensen said, with a final lick. "Right now I really need you in me."

Jared rolled Jensen over, letting Jensen feel his hard length. Jensen shuddered. Jensen's hole still gaped open from his previous skewer and Jared nudged it with his pointed tip.

"Oh, masala! You're huge!" Jensen said. Jared covered his shaft in barbecue sauce, and squirted some into Jensen. When Jared pierced Jensen's tight entrance, the sauce eased the way.

Still, Jared's steel girth was significantly larger than Jensen had taken before, and Jensen's steam came out little bursts as Jared penetrated the first morsel and pressed forward. Jared stopped to let him adjust before continuing to thread his way into Jensen's tight heat. Jensen was steaming hot through and through, well done and perfect. 

"I can feel you—so deep," Jensen said and his voice broke as Jared gave another little thrust.

Jared paused, licked in the hollow of Jensen's fold and said. "Tikka, we're only halfway there." 

When Jared began to pull out, feeling Jensen's walls hugging him as he moved, Jensen whimpered his objections. Jared took only long enough to squirt more barbecue sauce into Jensen and slather it liberally over himself before he plunged back in, harder this time, basting the depths of Jensen. With a final deep thrust, Jared bottomed out and felt the full and spicy tingle of Jensen at their juncture. 

"Move! You have to—more, I need more," Jensen whispered.

Jared pulled part-way out to add another dollop of sauce and began to work it into Jensen, thrusting long and slow. With each glide into Jensen, Jared rubbed against Jensen's searing meat. Not able to hold off much longer, Jared picked up the pace, fully skewering Jensen with every plunge. With a yell and sizzling pop, Jensen's juices burst forth, and with one last thrust Jared's juices erupted, mingling with Jensen's as they fused. 

Jared's juices flowed steadily as he held Jensen in the aftermath. When he eventually slid out and rolled off Jensen, Jared's attention was caught by the barbecue sauce seeping from Jensen's hole. Unwilling to let it go to waste, he gathered it up and spread it over his meat and vegetables, getting Jensen to rub it into the crevices he couldn't reach. He smelled of Jensen, and it was the best thing ever.

"Hey, Jared," Jensen said. "You ever thought of a threesome with Hot Wings?"


End file.
